SLUDGE: I’ve only seen Neurosis twice; both times, by multiple criteria, would qualify as mystical experiences. The first time was during a somewhat lost southern winter where Frank Antonoff and I drove to Atlanta to see the dubiously funded, but excellently booked Scion Rock Fest. After missing Pig Destroyer, but catching an awesome Coalesce reunion in what seemed like a hallway, we were absolutely floored by the Neurosis set. Even though it was played on a festival sized stage, none of the power or atmosphere was lost. It was the heaviest Pink Floyd laser show I ever saw. The second time I saw Neurosis was in the Brooklyn Masonic Temple. It was the loudest show I had ever been to. “Times of Grace” is the title track from Neurosis’s 1999 release on Relapse Records.
FUDGE: Also hailing from the Bay Area, Bi-Rite Creamery knows its shit. After eating this sundae I declared it “perfect.” I ordered my standard, a mint chocolate chip hot fudge sundae, with whipped cream and a cherry. The mint flavor was strong and unique (unfortunately, white and not green, but all was forgiven), the hot fudge luscious, and the whipped cream slightly chalky; just enough base to keep me from feeling sugar sick. It was eating this sundae that made me decide to start trusting the creations of the establishment over ordering my proven standards.
Did I hear Slowater? Yes. Did I eat this alone? Yes, but don’t we all eat our ice cream alone?
SLUDGE: If any of ya’ll kids think that HF&S is behind the times, I challenge you to find another (frozen) dessert website featuring BRAINCANDY. The closing track “Our War Again” from Tape 2013 is a solid end to a great first release and an almost more than perfect pairing for a cooling shake on a dirty summer night.
FUDGE: Lula’s Sweet Apothecary features all-natural, vegan, and dairy-free frozen desserts, with organic and gluten-free selections. Sticking to our almost disgustingly rigid definitions of ice cream, this is most certainly just a frozen dessert. Disclaimers aside, this frozen dessert was pretty amazing, and definitely offers a solid alternative for the ethically-minded and lactose intolerant. We were fortunate enough to encounter the rotating soft-serve flavor of Cake Batter. I had a Cake Batter cone, and you can briefly see Jim Hickcox showing off his Cake Batter/Vanilla twist. The main subject of this fudge, Ian Grey of Perdition*, is absolutely slamming a shake. I have no idea what flavor it is.
*Admittedly HF&S is a little behind the times, but I had a hell of a time finding anything on the web about Ian or his music. If anybody can offer up a better link, please post it in the comments.
SLUDGE: I became enamored of the Louisville, Kentucky music scene some years ago. Getting most of my band suggestions from Coliseum show announcements, I ordered PLOWS first LP Those People (2007) from Shirt Killer. The track “King Louie,” rails us through this fudge fest.*
FUDGE: I was recently discussing my sundae habits with a friend, and admitted that I need to submit more to an establishments creative specialties instead of always assembling my own. I generally hate restaurants that let you design your own entree. It shows a real lack of product. That being said, submit your agency to Big Gay Ice Cream. Sensationalist name aside, they make a hell of a cone. Being consumed on camera are The Salty Pimp (Vanilla Ice Cream, Dulche de Leche, Sea Salt, Chocolate Dip), The Cococone (Vanilla Ice Cream, Toasted Curried Coconut), and a cup of Vanilla Ice Cream with a Salted Caramel Sauce. Off-screen I was destroying the American Globs** (Vanilla Ice Cream***, Pretzels, Sea Salt, Chocolate Dip), and slowly strengthening my experience in recreational soft-serve use.
*It was pretty amazing that some dude was wearing an AC/DC shirt, however it was not a “sign” that this HF&S should feature an AC/DC song.
**If anyone in the New York City area would like to start a band called American Globs, please let me know.
***Despite my little tirade against customization, I switched out that Vanilla Ice Cream for Chocolate. We must strive towards our ideals, but not be disappointed in close approximations, I suppose.
SLUDGE: I first read about Solar Anus in an advertisement on the back of an Oaken Throne black metal zine that I literally found in the gutter. Their name caught my attention, being that of one of my favorite Bataille essays. The ad was for their post-humous discography Skull Alcoholic: The Complete Solar Anus and touted the band as a surrealist, psychedelic, Japanese sludge band. It was fairly intuitive that their song “Living Hell” would be used as the soundtrack for our fudgey trip to the Mitsuwa Marketplace, aka, Japantown, Edgewater, New Jersey.
FUDGE: The Japanese tea shop ITO EN had a side counter boasting three soft serve flavors: vanilla, green tea, and black sesame. Vanilla has never really gotten me hot, and I think green tea flavored ice cream (and red bean for that matter) is disgusting, but I was definitely curious about the black sesame. However, I wasn’t the main fudgionado, so we ordered all three flavors in one sugar cone bowl. Direct from the frozen moufs of Sarah and Fabrice: “Fabrice doesn’t remember anything except ‘oh yeah, there was that gray one.’ But I remember that we both really liked all three flavors. Neither of us had ever had black sesame ice cream before and it tasted a little like peanuts. All three were very creamy and delicious. Japan world was crazy and packed with people but even standing among the crowds, our ice cream experience was still delightful.”
EDITOR’S NOTE: The taiyaki and obanyaki was out of control. If I ever go back I’m definitely bringing some hot fudge in a thermos and pouring that shit over a black sesame ice cream and taiyaki sundae.
SLUDGE: As far as Contemporary Sludge goes, Weedeater is at the top of the game. Despite my many opportunities to more appropriately pair them with a North Carolina based HF&S, they’re appearing in my first annual San Francisco edition. “Monkey Junction” is a disgusting, gut wrenching track off of the brilliantly named album, …And Justice For Y’all.
HOT FUDGE: Back in December we fudged it up at Swensen’s Ice Cream, a neighborhood staple with an off-putting corporate website. I guess in my one SF ice cream adventure I was able to find the west coast wannabe Friendly’s. Despite video evidence, we can’t seem to remember exactly what was consumed that night:
KPW: Does anybody remember what they ate that night?
GFH III: What night was the Hot Fudge And Sludge? It could have been one of the thirty times we ate BBQ…
PR: I know I had a goddamn sundae.
GFH III: SWENSEN’S. Remember, it was too cold and hurt Owen’s teeth so he stepped outside?
OC: Fuck me right? I think I had like 8 bad fillings at that point. I had chocolate peanut-butter in a waffle cone, and I finished the whole thing.
Patrick and I indulged in the Walkaway Waffle Sundae, an impressive creation. I had mine with Thin Mint ice cream, a disappointing choice. I’m often guided by routine and security, and I guess being so far from home I was craving my Mint Chocolate Chip cradle. I’m not sure what Patrick ate, but he obviously ate the shit out of it.
Filmed by Luke Hamel.
SLUDGE: This video comes to us from Washington D.C., so I found it only appropriate to noise it up with The Dismemberment Plan‘s “Rusty”, from !.
HOT FUDGE: Filmed by Jim Hickcox, “I decided to try to make ice cream in a brownie bowl, and it took me three tries to achieve a successful bowl. This is me eating my second failed attempt, along with some haagen-dazs five vanilla bean ice cream (it is remarkably hard to find ice cream that doesn’t have lots of weird crap in it).”
SLUDGE: I don’t care what you assholes say. Converge is good, and this is a head bobber if I’ve ever heard one. “Wretched World” can be found on their 2009 release Axe To Fall.
HOT FUDGE: Winston-Salem, North Carolina is many radical things, however it is not the ice cream capital of the world (If this offends anyone, then prove me wrong Winston-Salem). As I have come to understand it, the South in general is not really that ice cream savvy. That being said, Sean and I still ate a ton of the frozen gold on my last trip down.
Dairy Queen: I started with the Mint Oreo Blizzard. I don’t know why I did this. It tasted like AIM toothpaste and wet angel food cake. Sean tried it and agreed. This is probably the worst ice cream creation to ever come out of DQ. I switched to the Double Fudge Cookie Dough Blizzard and really started hitting my stride. Sean stayed faithful to the Strawberry Cheesequake Blizzard and i think tripped a little.
Cookout: A local favorite for wacky flavored shakes. I’ve been very disappointed here before. They follow the flavor squirt into vanilla base kind of shake philosophy (cough, Sonics, cough), but this time around was pretty good. I had the Peanut Butter Fudge Shake, and Sean drank the Peanut Butter Banana Shake.
Krispy Kreme: I didn’t know Krispy Kreme had ice cream let alone sundaes, but they do, and they put donuts in them. We got a matching pair of Doughnut Sundaes with Vanilla Kool Kreme, Classic Glazed Donuts, and Chocolate Syrup. These were good, but I knew I was eating pure sugar with no finesse. I don’t think I’ll walk down this road again, but I’m glad I visited.
Mayberry: The only non-franchise we could find. This was a respectable ice cream parlor. I think we should have gotten a booth and some grilled cheese. The flavor selection was impecable if not a little outdated. I had a Praline Pecan Hot Fudge Sundae, and Sean had a Vanilla Hot Fudge Sundae, both with whipped cream, hot fudge, wafer cookies, and a cherry. The wafer cookie is pure class.
SLUDGE: Phil loves Bad Religion, so we attempt to appease the gods of aging punk with the offering of “Infected”, a chunky gem from the 1994 album Stranger than Fiction.
FUDGE: I’m not a huge fan of soft serve ice cream. Most people are, and I’m told that the soft serve at The Ridgefield Ice Cream Shop is serious business. A quote from a Ridgefield native, “Jesus, it’s been so long. I, like, haven’t even really eaten there since I was a kid. I remember that my mom used to take me there as a reward for going to the mall…” Phil was eating a vanilla soft serve cone, on a very windy day.
HOT FUDGE AND SLUDGE 